Shifting family patterns, before the family repatterning!

October 23, 2009

I sometimes wonder with Mastering My Present Moment at what point I should focus on issues, even though I know time is supposed to be “holographic” and does not always play out in a linear way. Our repatterning around family is next Tuesday, but significant things are happening this week already, which is interesting because I have been purposely removed from my family.  I was wondering how I could best get through this time of transition in my life, so I called my brother to ask for a small portion of a very small amount of money that is coming to me since my mother died many years ago. He got an angry, accusing tone while I stammered. I knew it might be a bad time to ask him for it, but it has been many years since my mother died. But I hung up hardly phased, feeling confident that regardless of what he thinks it is not a problem when a sister asks her older brother for money that is owed to her after many years, when she is clearly struggling. For the first time, I stood my ground without worrying about the outcome. 

Also, this week I was upset about my cousin being hospitalized for extensive heart complications, like her mother had been. I had a dream that was intimate and revealed to me how her health was directly related to the patterns with her mother and men—a family pattern that I mirror in my own way with my attachment to my mother who has been gone so long. Realizing the extent of the pattern, I decided it has to be changed—and with that, I knew after the dream my cousin would make it through the complications, and she did thankfully. But I also knew that by making the choice to change my pattern I was supporting her to change old grief.

I wonder if others recognize enmeshed family patterns of emotions underlying physical health.

Cultivating the ground for money

October 20, 2009

I knew nothing about earth chakras years ago. All I knew was that I felt naked and distorted in my own body trying to survive without money or belonging, after too many losses. You can’t explain these things at the office—or the string of offices I used to work at. But I’m starting to sense again those roots of safety and groundedness that were missing from me a year ago in the first Mastering My Present Moment series was. 

This repatterning comes as I transition from school and recovering from an auto accident and into making a living. My debts are obscene, yet I am feeling hopeful and even peaceful. I’m getting a sense of momentum building in my life. I am almost stunned at how  intentions and tiny shifts over the past year or two—in the time when I’ve felt like I was floating forward inside a funnel from pain and struggle-—are finally beginning to manifest toward health and abundance. I am still a mess by my own standards, but a more coherent mess—-there is a picture finally forming. 

The last few days I have seen order happening that has seemed impossible. In the second week of the earth repatterning regarding finances, I suddenly realized I had been missing the one good way to place my desk in the small space where I work. The improvement of flow is radical. I see order before me and a real workspace. Days ago I was finally able to gather all my ideas about making money through writing, into a small pile of files that makes sense. I have acquired a datebook/notebook that I actually use and that I love to look at. It’s turquoise. I’ve been accomplishing tasks the last couple of days around small transactions that just days ago were causing me to go into a stubborn blankness. 

But most uncanny is that just in the last two weeks I’ve made a connection with a man of exceptional caliber who has become my trusted mentor and associate. In this short time I have learned from him more practical and cutting edge information about the internet and making money online than I might have learned anywhere over time. He has overwhelmed me with in-depth emails and educational information that has transformed my financial possibilities and lifted long-held fears about the mysteries of the internet. He is an ex-engineer who takes learning and making money seriously, but who thrives on collaboration. I had met him briefly online this summer, indirectly through a local internet “meetup” group, but then re-contacted him a couple of weeks ago to ask a couple of questions about internet marketing. 

What I got was a storm of daily information and collaboration that keeps building. I have intended in past repatternings for high quality associations to help me make money when I finished school. Be careful what you ask for. He has me busy, but it is good.

Cultivating the ground to grow money

October 20, 2009

I knew nothing about earth chakras years ago. All I knew was that I felt naked and distorted in my own body trying to survive without money or belonging, after too many losses. You can’t explain these things at the office—or the string of offices I used to work at. But I’m starting to sense again those roots of safety and groundedness that were missing from me a year ago in the first Mastering My Present Moment series was. 

This repatterning comes as I transition from school and recovering from an auto accident and into making a living. My debts are obscene, yet I am feeling hopeful and even peaceful. I keep getting a sense of momentum building in my life. I am almost shocked at how it seems intentions and tiny shifts over the past year or two—when I could barely function from pain—are finally beginning to manifest toward health and abundance. I am still a mess by my own standards, but a more coherent mess—-there is a picture finally forming. 

The last few days I have seen order happening that has seemed impossible. In the second week of the earth repatterning regarding finances, I suddenly realized I had been missing the one good way to place my desk in the small space where I work. The improvement of flow is radical. I see order, like a real workspace. I was finally able to gather all my ideas about making money through writing, into a small pile of files that makes sense. I have acquired a datebook/notebook that I actually use and that I love to look at. It’s turquoise. I’ve been accomplishing tasks the last couple of days around small transactions that just days ago were causing me to go into a stubborn blankness. 

But most uncanny is that just in the last two weeks I’ve made a connection with a man of exceptional caliber who has become my trusted mentor and associate. In this short time I have learned from him more relevant information about the internet and making money online than I might have learned anywhere over time. He has overwhelmed me with in-depth emails and educational information that has transformed my financial possibilities and lifted long-held fears about the mysteries of the internet. He is an ex-engineer who takes learning and making money seriously, but who appreciates collaboration. I had met him briefly online this summer, indirectly through a local internet “meetup” group, but then re-contacted him a couple of weeks ago I thought for some possible ideas for my own brainstorming.

What I got was a storm of information and collaboration that is actually building into something. I have intended in past repatternings for high quality associations to help me make money when I finished school. Be careful what you ask for. He has me busy, but it is good.

Hello world!

October 13, 2009

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